As humans we live in societies and organize ourselves into networks of relationships. We all have individual needs and wants and somehow need to make these known. There is an old saying that goes "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar", the question is how can we get another person to agree to our requests?

One method - ingratiation - requires us to modify our behaviour so that the person likes us. We attempt to make ourselves as attractive as possible and will employ flattery in efforts to foster positive feelings in the other person. If you go to the bank to apply for a loan you will dress smartly and make sure that you have had a shower. Part of this is the idea that we must create a positive impression in order to be taken seriously.

The foot-in-the-door technique is also known as the lowball technique that salesmen employ. This tactic requires us to get the person to first agree to a small request. Once they have accepted the small request you immediately increase what you are asking for. This technique works surprisingly well and it is often employed by salesmen! Consider the used car salesman who sells you a car for $ 4,000 and then goes to his manager to check the conditions. He comes back and says that his manager insists that you pay an extra $ 500 for a pre-sale mechanical inspection and valet service. The salesman is well aware that people are not likely to change their mind about the car and he has a good chance of making the extra sale.

The door-in-the-face technique is quite opposite to this approach. In this technique we make a large request (which is possibly quite unreasonable). Once this is refused we start to negotiate towards a smaller amount. Our used car salesman may tell you the price on the car you fancy is $ 10,000. You know that the car is worth only $ 5,000 so you reject the option. The salesman uses ingratiation and smiles openly while saying something like "Let me see what I can do for you". He then goes back to the office and speaks to his manager. When he returns he will offer the car for $ 8,000. He hopes that you will perceive this as a $ 2,000 victory rather than still being over-priced. If he can leave the customer feeling victorious for knocking down the price he is more likely to sell the car.

Playing hard to get is a common strategy that we learn in the playground. By making ourselves appear unavailable we attempt to increase other peoples perception of our worth. If people think we are valuable they are more likely to concede to our requests.

The pique technique is a method that attempts to raise the interest of the person. This can be done through unusual requests, outlandish displays, or clever marketing strategies. The aim of this method is to get the client engaged and interested in what is being said so that they are not likely to say "no" automatically. We get bombarded with adverts all day (billboards, radio ads, tv ads, internet ads, shop signage) that we become inured to their effects and automatically reject their message. We are more likely to notice an unusual and interesting advertisement.

Putting others in a good mood is a great way to improve the chances they will help you. If somebody is feeling positive and happy they are more likely to cooperate with you. If they are angry or depressed they may well feel that they "don't have time" to help you.

Although we all make some sort of attempt to socially influence the people around us the manner and style that we use is individual. Our personal psychological makeup determines how we are likely to interact with people.

A drug treatment program may well attempt to teach some of these social skills. Addiction recovery is made a lot smoother if we know how to deal with people proactively and openly. Many addicts come into drug rehab not knowing how to deal with social situations. A therapeutic community may provide the opportunity to start observing other people using these skills and the chance to practice using new methods of social interaction.

Many addicts describe themselves as "manipulative" or "dishonest" while they were active in their drug abuse. This sort of behaviour was their method of exerting social influence. In order to get what they wanted they would lie, tell half-truths, or attempt to emotionally manipulate their target. For example: an addicted teenager may tell his father "You were never there for me when I was younger" in an attempt to instil guilt in his father who would then be more likely to comply with the addicts demands.

Teaching addicts how to behave in social situations is an important goal of a treatment program in rehab. Helping them to discover that there are more open and honest ways of having their needs met will help them to feel more at ease in society.